Definitive Evidence That Your Fellow American is a Moron

by Darwin on January 6, 2013

In case you had any doubt that you are surrounded by complete and utter idiots any time you leave your residence, I present you with this national survey from Consumer Reports.  I was reading along this weekend from one of the few periodicals I enjoy and happened upon this survey.  I was a bit surprised the article it was housed in made no mention of the utter stupidity emanating from it, but I had to include a screen shot and share:



So, when someone presents an opinion, and then says, “you’re an idiot for believing x,y,z”, I normally think they’re an idiot because a) their opinion is usually naive and misinformed and b) who the hell do they think they are pushing their agenda on everyone else and calling anyone who dissents an idiot.  But in this case, this is pure common sense and there is literally no logic whatsoever to vote anything other than “More Likely” or “Neither”.  I mean, let’s look into these in further detail:

I Hate My Community – 2% – While that may seem like a small number, there are literally 1 in 50 Americans who actually prefer that a company ignores their local community.  You know, because that has any benefit to anyone.  I could see being indifferent.  But to actually AVOID purchasing from ya know, ethical, good companies that don’t tear up the roads, treat everyone like shit, pollute and then disappear?

I Like Companies That Treat Workers Like Shit – 4% – That’s a whole 1 in 25 people that actually don’t like purchasing from companies that take care of their employees.  See, child labor, worker abuse and outright shitty behavior is their thing.  Next time you’re in class or at your next family party, take a look around.  At least 1 person in a party that size feels this way.  Ask them WTF is wrong with them.

I Love When Companies Destroy the Environment – 7% – Apparently, some people are pissed off enough that the Mayan Apocalypse didn’t rapture our asses that they’re rooting for the most destructive companies they can find.  They literally AVOID buying from a company that doesn’t pollute, dump, destroy.  7% is a fairly large number.  That’s no sampling error.  About 1 in 13 Americans is a complete dipshit.

I Prefer to Send US Dollars Overseas – 6% – I’m no protectionist, you know that.  I’m all about the theory of comparative advantage.  But when answering a 1 line survey question, with no other pieces of data, why the HELL would an American actually prefer to buy from a foreign company OVER an American company?  This is utterly moronic.  You’d actually prefer that we increase our trade deficit? Weaken our currency?  Provide that many fewer dollars into our Treasury so we have to tax another American more (or just run up that much more debt) rather than seeing an American corporation pay corporate taxes on that purchase?  Someone, for the life of me, please explain why 1 in 16 Americans prefer this?

Screw My State – 7% – Senators and Congressional Representatives go out of their way to pile all the pork they can into each bill.  Maybe this is why America has such a low approval rating for Congress.  Americans actually don’t WANT any work in their state!  They want companies to put their plants somewhere else!  I get it, the gravy train distributionist country we’ve turned into has made it easier and easier to live off the public teet that maybe this 7% hates the idea of having opportunities for work in their state.

My only hope for humanity is that there’s overlap in moronic comments; i.e. the same dipshit that won’t buy from an American firm also doesn’t want any manufacturing presence in their home state.


What Am I Missing Here?

Are We Truly Surrounded By Idiots?

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

NK January 7, 2013 at 9:19 am

I don’t have much time but briefly: what does it mean if a Co. engages in environmentally friendly practice? If it’s CO2 emissions related, I don’t give a rats ass. And so on.
The rant is OK, biped I would look what each criterium actually means.


Darwin January 7, 2013 at 9:49 am

Really, what matters is your definition – and the fact that you’d be LESS likely to purchase from a company that adheres to that definition. Isn’t that odd?


Brett Wilson January 7, 2013 at 12:03 pm

I wasn’t really suprised by these numbers. Most people are just plain stupid.


slug | January 7, 2013 at 2:13 pm

I’d be interested in the margin of error on that survey. Also, I agree that most Americans are idiots which means their ability to appropriately participate in a market research is often compromised by their stupidity.


Darwin January 7, 2013 at 11:06 pm

Oh, how I do love national surveys. Half the country thinks the earth is only 6000 years old and we’re routinely visited by aliens.


krantcents January 7, 2013 at 2:47 pm

I think there is a tendency to simplify to the point of idiocy. I suspect it increases the responses. I received a survey shortly after I bought my new car (this summer) and I did not complete it because it would take too long. They even offered an incentive ( a prize) for completion, you might win some thing.


Darwin January 7, 2013 at 11:05 pm

True, there are probably a lot of people who don’t answer realistically.


101 Centavos January 7, 2013 at 6:24 pm

How about the ones (apparently on life support) that voted for “neither?”


Gen Y Finance Journey January 8, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Have you ever participated in an online survey that promised to be short, but then went on and on, page after page of idiotic questions? At some point you just say, “screw this, I’m going to answer randomly so I can get my two rewards dollars.” That’s probably what happened.


Darwin January 8, 2013 at 9:43 pm

True, that scenario, if true here, would help restore my faith in humanity.


timhoustontx January 15, 2013 at 12:49 pm

Your analysis shows a total lack of understanding of (a) statistics (b) people (c) reality.

maybe someone is not from here?

maybe someone is more concerned about people in another part of the world?

could be any number of reasons.

before labeling folks stupid, take a look in the mirror


Darwin January 15, 2013 at 1:22 pm

I understand all 3 prett well thanks.
This was a poll of AMERICANS.
And the absurd replies comprised a fairly large percentage of respondents.


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