If I see one more jackass complain about spending $100 to fill a gas tank I’m gonna go medieval. Here’s why:
- We pay less for gas than most humans – Sure, some OPEC countries subsidize their gasoline even more than we do. But, well, they live in pretty horrid conditions and we’re seeing how that arrangement is working out. Syria’s the latest country to be shooting funeral mourners this week, so when you do shit like that in the region, you’ve gotta subsidize gas pretty good. It’s no wonder Europeans are disgusted by Americans. They have to import most of their energy needs (they’re worse off than us!) and they live a much more energy efficient lifestyle. They walk. They ride bikes. They don’t litter. They don’t buy crap they don’t need like we do. And they pay almost double what we do for gas. If they don’t complain, you can’t complain.
- We pay more for bottled water – and lots of it. At least gasoline has some utility. Bottled water is a complete scam and Americans can’t get enough. Americans spent over $10 Billion on bottled water in 2009. On a volume basis, we pay way more for water that we don’t need in a bottle. WTF!
- If you have a 25 gallon tank, your vehicle is too damn big – With some simple math, watching the schmuck on the local news makes me wanna shoot the TV “Dancin’ with the Stars”-style. It’s like complaining about your mortgage payment when you bought a 5,000 square foot home. Or complaining about your food bill when you’re 700 pounds. Of course it’s gonna cost a lot to fill up your car! Your memory is as short as a goldfish (or hamster; still a debate on which creature has the shortest memory on earth). When gas prices were high 2 years ago you complained. They tanked during the recession and you bought a huge car. And now you’re complaining again. Sell your car, buy a hybrid. Prices drop buy an SUV again. This absurd cycle continues because we are a fickle, entitled, “Daddy I want this NOW” society. Think about the long-term. Think about someone beside yourself. If you don’t need it or can’t afford it when the inevitable price increases occur, then don’t buy a gas-guzzler.
- It’s Your Fault You Live 50 Miles from Work – I work in a moderately priced area (East Coast), so if you want to live near our office, you can expect to pay $500-$700K for a nicer new home, possibly in the 400s for something 5-10 years old. That’s not a lot compared to California or New York City of course, but more than most of the country. I work with a lot of people that want to pay $300,000 for a 3500 square foot home because they couldn’t bear the thought of living in something more modest. They want the McMansion but they don’t want to pay McMansion pricing. So, they move out into the sticks to buy the huge house and commute in. Thus, when your commute starts costing you more, that’s a personal choice you made! When you signed up to commute 2 hours each day, you chose to trade months off your life commuting, miss all your kids’ sporting and school events, waste a ton of gas and depreciation, subject your kids to a questionable school district and subject yourself to fluctuations in the price of gas. And when you and your wife both drive gas-guzzling SUVs? Well, enough said. You should know better. Suck it up.
Don’t Do This
Aside from not complaining, you should also not do this:
- Don’t fall for the stupid gas-saving myths going around the web. You don’t get more gas if you pump in the morning or daytime or nighttime. I can’t believe anyone with the most rudimentary knowledge of fluid dynamics would ever propagate this. It’s like me telling you about the purported Coreolis effect in the toilet bowl or how relativity changes your lifespan by flying in a plane. Is there possibly some imperceptible difference between two frames of reference? Possibly; but clearly not worth acting on or even trying to measure. Buy your gas when you need gas.
- Don’t boycott oil companies and gas stations. This is stupid. Aside from the fact that it’s not their fault prices are what they are (it’s yours), the boycotts are ineffective and you’ll end up embarrassing yourself because others will know how stupid you are. If you choose not to buy gas tomorrow but instead buy one extra day’s worth the next day, well, you didn’t really accomplish anything.
You Might Try This:
Instead of whining, do something.
- Stop being so damn wasteful. Simple, just stop. Also, don’t drive like an ass (driving fast is less efficient) and keep your tires inflated. These are HUGE gas-savers.
- Hedge Your Own Gas Prices. I do this each summer and it has worked out every time. We all know gas prices rise in the summer and I present some very simple and effective ways to mitigate the price increases at my ETF site.
- Don’t pay more than you need to. Use Gasbuddy on the web if you don’t have a smartphone and if you do, pay the buck or whatever for the App. You’ll make the money back in 2 weeks. Pay the lowest price for gas by simply taking the 30 seconds out of your busy life to plan out the lowest priced provider. To add some icing to that cake, pick up a quick $150 and get cash back for gas purchases for life with the top cash-back card out there, the Chase Freedom Visa $150 Bonus card. Why people continue to pay cash for gas when credit (usually) costs the same is beyond me. You can always get at least 1% back with a card like that.
I know, many of you have recently complained about gas and you may feel personally insulted. But the local news just makes me want to vomit in my mouth sometimes and my wife can’t take my diatribes. So, there you have it. A Happy Easter post for you on gas price complaints.
I’d Love to Hear Your Thoughts – and Solutions.